(Special Kehila Edition, 2002)

Some scribblings in notes from Kehila Board meetings were discovered recently while rummaging through the Kehila presidential archives. They date roughly to the period 1992 to 1994 and are based loosely on Robert's Rules of Order, Revised, by General Henry M. Robert, U.S. Army, 1915 (revised 1943). The "Special Kehila Edition" was adapted by Robert L. November, 2002 (transcribed by Hannah November).

Guiding principles:

• Kehila-ites love to eat, talk and debate.
• Questions and debate are a mainstay of Jewish discourse -- this is well documented. An early example is Abraham's discussions with God about the fate of Sodom and Gomorrah.
• The third law of thermodynamics -- everything in the universe tends toward chaos.

Time to adjourn?

A practical man, General Robert begins his rules with "Fix the time to which to adjourn." He continues systematically to the sixth item on his list, "Lay on the Table."

Robert's Kehila rules begins with the admonition -- Make sure there is plenty of food on the table and lots of coffee (decaf and regular). There will probably not be room to lay anything else on the table.

There does not appear to be a Yiddish equivalent for "Time to adjourn." A formula, of unproven use, for calculating the length of a given meeting is as follows:

T = 2M [P + P² + 2L² +3(AW)- B] / [3T + 4S + B + 2D]

where:

T = length of meeting in hours
P = number of physicians/scientists (however, P2 if NIH researchers)
L = number of lawyers
AW = number of academics/writers
C = number of computer scientists/systems analysts
T = number of teachers
S = number of social workers
M = number of total members present
B = number of bagels
D = number of homemade desserts

How is business conducted?

What precedes debate? Food. Food, also the subject of debate, is eaten during debate and after debate.

Obtaining the floor:

General Robert clearly states: Before a member can make a motion or address the assembly in debate it is necessary that he should obtain the floor -- that is, he must rise after the floor has been yielded, and address the presiding officer by his official title , thus, "Mr. Chairman," or "Mr. President" or if a woman (married or single), "Madam Chairman" or "Madam President".....

Robert's Kehila rules -- note that a she is just as likely to obtain the floor as a he. More importantly, the floor concept of 1915 is one-dimensional (a "Flatland" approach). Kehila operates in a 3-D universe that results in much more lively discussion, since speakers may also obtain and yield all four walls, the ceiling, and nearby steps.

Your Parliamentarian* can help you sort out the speaking order of the East, West, North, and South walls. If anyone is speaking from the ceiling you may need Divine intervention.

* The Parliamentarian: A brave person with a working knowledge of Robert's rules and a voice loud enough to be heard over three simultaneous discussions.

Minutes -- Hours?

Robert's Kehila rules -- if the minutes must be read, it is advisable to choose a New Yorker for this task, as the mean number of words per minute is twice the speed and 1.5 times the volume as members from other geographic regions, with the possible exception of Chicago. It's time to adjourn!

~Robert and Hannah November